There’s nothing that motivates me more to do something than to be told that I can’t. I have taken jobs for that reason. It’s very satisfying to do something that someone thought you incapable of. But it’s only so satisfying especially as you get older and care less about what people think.

So, here I sit thinking about the future and not knowing what I want from it as I don’t have spite in my life driving my decisions. I find without spite that I’m very unmotivated to do anything. I have several projects that I would like to finish and some I would like to start.

But we are living in trying times. Things are better than in 2020 but it still isn’t that same. I quit my job to pursue a different career path and have yet to make progress. I still can’t decide on a direction.

My first step is to rank the skills I have in order of which ones I like to practice. Then look at what skills I would really like to have. I should concentrate on what I like to do and then find the opportunity.

One thing I really enjoy is research. It doesn’t matter the subject. I just like the discovery process. I want to increase my research skills and drawing skills this year. Drawing is hard as it takes so much effort on my part to sit down and concentrate. That’s a skill to work on to – focusing.

A problem I have is that I just feel tired from thinking. I just need to do, but what? So for the month of February, I will just do as I feel when I feel like it. I will keep a time log of how much I draw, crochet, program, etc. How do I spend my time when I’m not thinking about it? Hopefully this will be insightful into what I want to do and when I want to do it.